In memory of: Doggo! My Doggo!
Growing up with me since '96 to '09, when our first doggo friend left at the age of 13, i convinced myself. I made up my mind that i'll never be able to find love or friendship in any other. I cried, I cried like i am orphaned. I refused to bring any other doggo home.
3 months later,
Amma, came home, with a cute little pup. Wrapped in her saree, adorable with half opened eyes, lots of tick were falling. Amma was all smiles looking at me like she has found herself a life time pass to Guruvayoor. I paused. I couldn't accept. But, definitely couldn't refuse. I wasn't confused about if i should accept and pet. I was confused about what will i call it, how would i be comfortable in seeing anyone else in place of my beloved. In spite, I tried. Neither did any name strike my mind, nor could I call. For a few days from then i tapped the floor, made noises to get its attention. When it was all fine, after ample failed choices, in memory of our beloved buddy, we called it, Browny. Browny Jr, i said to myself looking at the grave where my friend was buried. Grandmother, one fine day at home exclaimed, ooh, its a female!. We were never bothered by her gender or had paid any attention to know it all these days until then. We had embraced her with love like she embraced us leaving her whole family behind somewhere. Briefing a little about where my Amma found her, she was one among the four pups who were left alone to survive in the corner of a temple wall during Margazhi month of Tamil calendar. Times passed and did years. We enjoyed her growing up with us and continued to love all that she did for attention. We stumbled mentally a little as we were put in a situation that we had to relocate 400 kms from home. It was my home, it was her home. None of us could leave her behind. We sure did not want her to be put in a cage, on a train, or be loaded in a truck. She's never traveled for long, and we knew she'll be stressed. We were concerned. After a lot of dilema about transporting her, 200 km away from home, with us, next to me in the last seat, looking at me with utmost innocence she was there. We rested occasionally for her to be relaxed. We let her breathe fresh air as we crossed state borders. She leaned on me when she felt scared, stressed. She'd occasionally scratch either of us to not let us sleep and keep her company. I am 28 years old and have grown older, she's too grown older with me in this world. She's with us strong, bold and furious at 10. Everytime, I look at her I see him in her, and now we love her and him equally. I sometimes feel, she proved me wrong.
No, the thought of a 18 yo that he would not, or could find love or friendship, in any other out of impulse emotion without knowing the future in store was proven wrong. If you are going through a tough breakup with strong feeling that you can't find a better person than the one you just missed or lost. No buddy, life has not ended for you yet. Sometimes its just us being insecure of the future than of the past.
Growing up with me since '96 to '09, when our first doggo friend left at the age of 13, i convinced myself. I made up my mind that i'll never be able to find love or friendship in any other. I cried, I cried like i am orphaned. I refused to bring any other doggo home.
3 months later,
Amma, came home, with a cute little pup. Wrapped in her saree, adorable with half opened eyes, lots of tick were falling. Amma was all smiles looking at me like she has found herself a life time pass to Guruvayoor. I paused. I couldn't accept. But, definitely couldn't refuse. I wasn't confused about if i should accept and pet. I was confused about what will i call it, how would i be comfortable in seeing anyone else in place of my beloved. In spite, I tried. Neither did any name strike my mind, nor could I call. For a few days from then i tapped the floor, made noises to get its attention. When it was all fine, after ample failed choices, in memory of our beloved buddy, we called it, Browny. Browny Jr, i said to myself looking at the grave where my friend was buried. Grandmother, one fine day at home exclaimed, ooh, its a female!. We were never bothered by her gender or had paid any attention to know it all these days until then. We had embraced her with love like she embraced us leaving her whole family behind somewhere. Briefing a little about where my Amma found her, she was one among the four pups who were left alone to survive in the corner of a temple wall during Margazhi month of Tamil calendar. Times passed and did years. We enjoyed her growing up with us and continued to love all that she did for attention. We stumbled mentally a little as we were put in a situation that we had to relocate 400 kms from home. It was my home, it was her home. None of us could leave her behind. We sure did not want her to be put in a cage, on a train, or be loaded in a truck. She's never traveled for long, and we knew she'll be stressed. We were concerned. After a lot of dilema about transporting her, 200 km away from home, with us, next to me in the last seat, looking at me with utmost innocence she was there. We rested occasionally for her to be relaxed. We let her breathe fresh air as we crossed state borders. She leaned on me when she felt scared, stressed. She'd occasionally scratch either of us to not let us sleep and keep her company. I am 28 years old and have grown older, she's too grown older with me in this world. She's with us strong, bold and furious at 10. Everytime, I look at her I see him in her, and now we love her and him equally. I sometimes feel, she proved me wrong.
No, the thought of a 18 yo that he would not, or could find love or friendship, in any other out of impulse emotion without knowing the future in store was proven wrong. If you are going through a tough breakup with strong feeling that you can't find a better person than the one you just missed or lost. No buddy, life has not ended for you yet. Sometimes its just us being insecure of the future than of the past.
No comments:
Post a Comment